Food I like!
What is this? A recipes page? Am I some kind of cook or something? Well, no, not really. But I am a guy with a creative mind, and I do sometimes channel my energy into making food. My mother told me, during the summer when I started experimenting at the stove for the first time, that she was delighted that at last I was using my imaginative potential for something concrete, instead of turning real life into ventures into imagination and abstraction.
The recipes you'll find on this page have two important features. First, they're quite simple. I never had any training in the culinary arts and heck, I've lived in Minnesota all my life, so you can't expect anything exotic here. But I've been told what I make is tasty and oh-so-healthy, because I like to use a lot of fruits and vegetables. The second thing about these recipes is that they're not really recipes. This is because when I cook I don't usually go by recipe. I improvise. So all the ideas here have a lot of flexibility. What I write here represents the paradigmatic or, if I may, the platonic form of the dishes I describe, but on any given occasion I may vary the dish in a dozen different ways. If you're someone who feels like making any of these dishes, I encourage you to do the same.
I figure the main reason this page might be useful to someone is if they're overwhelmed by the fine details of traditional cookbooks. Those details are what makes a dish picture (and palette) perfect, but they often turn off people who've never tried cooking. If you think you can't cook, just try! You're bound to prove yourself wrong, even if it turns out you don't cook well. If you find that whenever you want to make something from a recipe you have to make a special trip to the grocery store, or you hate having to refer back to a flour-stained book on the counter every minute to find out what to do next, you may be happier just taking a cue from an idea like the ones here and letting what happens happen.
When I want something like a meal, but less so, I often decide to go for a toasted sandwich.
I was inspired to start making these at home by the Great Steak Sandwich Company, whose outlet I frequented when I was working at Games by James, a mall game store. You can make them with a variety of ingredients, but what I've been doing is taking a couple slices of sliced turkey (ham would be good too, but we have turkey more often), cutting them into smaller pieces, and frying them up (or to be more accurate, sauteing with a generous amount of oil) with half a sliced onion, some chopped fresh spinach, and maybe some really thinly sliced zucchini. Add a slice of swiss cheese just before it's done cooking. Put it between a couple slices of toasted bread (I like Healthy Choice Oat Nut Bread) with a couple wedges of tomato and plenty of ketchup. Be sure to use a plate and have a paper towel handy, because it gets messy. Good messy. ;-)
Pasta dishes are probably my favorite kind to make.
Why? Because they're easy. But they also taste scrumptious and look nice if done well. Still, I'd be kidding myself if I denied that the number one reason I cook pasta so often is that I'm lazy and it's really simple to make. For texture, I prefer the medium-sized tubular pastas (like penne), although sometimes I prefer bow-ties (farfel), rainbow rotini, ordinary egg noodles, or, of course, spaghetti. To make a dish of Thorin-style pasta, boil some salted water and add about two thirds of the package (or less if it's spaghetti). When it's done, drain it but don't rinse, and add a little butter and some salt and black pepper. At the same time, saute half a green pepper, a diced zucchini or summer squash, lots of black olives, and maybe some green onions. Once it's getting cooked, add a can of stewed tomatoes and/or a fresh diced tomato, and some basil and thyme. Again, at the same time, boil a bunch of baby carrots in a covered little saucepan. And while all this is going on, broil a chicken breast or microwave some frozen meatballs. When the vegetables are nearly done, add a little store-bought pasta sauce (I like Classico), the carrots and the meat. Let people serve themselves some pasta and spoon the rest over it. Sprinkle with powdered parmesan cheese and serve with grape or cranberry juice.
And what about couscous?
Well, I was given a cookbook of couscous recipes for Christmas, but until I get my hands on the likes of some salmon bouillon, fennel bulbs, grape leaves, and orange blossom water, I'll have to stick with making it the way I know how. In my family we often buy Marakesh Express packages containing both couscous and seasonings. If you do this, the flavor you buy will of course inform what you should put in it. If you use plain couscous, however, you can go in a zillion different directions with it. My father likes loading couscous with lots of dried fruit (like figs, apricots, and craisins) and nuts. Pine nuts and almonds are especially good in couscous--or so I'm told by people who actually like nuts! I can't stand them myself. I prefer to put in a bunch of ingredients similar to what I put in pasta.
The instant way to prepare couscous is to get some water boiling, then put in enough couscous to eventually soak it all up (it'll come nearly up to the surface after you stir, but not quite) and remove it from the heat, cover it for a few minutes, and then fluff it with a fork. I'm going to experiment with steaming it soon. Anyway, when the water is boiling, add plenty of spices--I like cumin and marjoram. While you're waiting for it to soak up the water, saute some fresh spinach and green onions. Stir this into the finished couscous along with lots of sliced black and green olives (pimientos are cool), cubes of cheese, halved cherry tomatoes, parsley flakes, salt and pepper.
A medicine wheel in couscous form.
When I finally got around to making a recipe out of the couscous book, it was delicious and educational (albeit very difficult t and very messy). I prepared the Raspberry Couscous Trifle, which involved making custard, coulis, and whipped cream to go with a sweet couscous base. That was the inspiration for the following somewhat simpler, more philosophical recipe.
Good and Evil Couscous:
Take some frozen berries, add a little water and blend them with some sugar, then boil them. Fill half a medium saucepan with water and put in some butter or butter substitute. Boil it. Add couscous to a quarter inch below the water level, remove from heat, cover and wait 10 minutes or so. Divide it into two bowls. Into one bowl, fold vanilla yogurt (until the couscous is creamy, but not so much it's like soup). Add a spoonful of cinnamon, a touch of vanilla extract, and some sugar. Into the other bowl, fold chocolate pudding. Stir in peanut butter chips and chocolate chips (they sometimes come mixed together).
Fill several bowls partway with couscous, putting the good couscous (vanilla) on one side and the evil stuff (chocolate) on the other. Pour the fruit sauce crosswise across half of each side on each bowl. It represents...I don't know, femininity or something. Pour cold applesauce on the other side of each bowl to represent masculinity or whatever you want. There are now four flavor combinations in each bowl. Add crumbled cereal on top, and you have an interesting dessert for interesting times.
For a big crowd, sometimes chili hits the spot.
Chili is super easy. Saute an onion and some of your favorite pepper(s). If you want, brown a pound of ground beef or turkey in the same skillet. Once it's cooked, add two cans of chili (pinto) beans and a can of kidney beans or black beans. (If the idea of beans from a can scares you, you're probably already a better cook than me!) Reduce heat and add a can of stewed tomatoes. If you have a can of diced tomatoes and chilis, add that too. Season with chili powder--or if you prefer, paprika and red pepper. Other things I like to add sometimes include frozen carrot slices, black olives, garbonzo beans, and fresh tomatoes. If you don't put any chili pepper in your chili it's not technically chili, but being Midwestern, I promise I won't spill the beans!
What to do with Vanilla Ice Cream
If the flavor of vanilla ice cream isn't interesting enough for you but that's all you've got, I suggest something like the following. Put a chunk of baking chocolate (if you haven't got any, use a piece of Hershey's bar) with some soy milk or rice milk in a little saucepan. Normal milk would probably also work. Put it on low heat for a while, mashing the chocolate whenever possible to mix it with the milk. Once it's reasonably mashed, add some soft chopped fruit, such as bananas, strawberries, raspberries, or pears. Increase heat to medium and stir it all until the milk starts to boil rapidly. Turn it off, pour it over a bowl of vanilla ice cream, and enjoy it utterly! I guess you could add something like nuts or peanut butter chips, but I prefer not to.
Sometimes you just have to have eggs in the morning.
If you've been paying attention to what my favorite vegetables are, my preferences for eggs should come as no surprise. Sometimes I do a frittata sort of thing, and sometims I try and fail to make an omelette, but most of the time I just scramble them. Onion, green onion, green olives, ham or turkey-ham, diced tomato, salt. All together on low heat. Serve with ketchup and no shame.
My favorite food is actually frozen pizza.
That's right--frozen. I have the fortune of actually craving one of the cheapest brands of pizza out there--Jack's Original! You can get 4 or 5 of them for $10.00 at the supermarket. I especially like the Supreme and Mexican Style flavors. The Supreme, however, you have to watch carefully or it gets overcooked. But it's not enough just to cook a Jack's pizza--I have to pile it high with vegetables! My favorite extra toppings are big old slices of tomato, green olives, and lots of greens--frozen spinach or collards, in particular. Oh my goodness it's wonderful. Serve with a citrus juice.
What if I've got tons of leftover white rice?
For some reason, any time anyone gets Chinese take-out they take home way more white rice than they need. Sometimes you also have leftover sweet-and-sour sauce. I'll tell you what I just did now--I took some turkey-ham, some celery, some brussels sprouts and lots of spinach, and I steamed it all (pouring boiling water on it through a strainer would have worked too). If I'd had broccoli, cabbage or pea pods I would have steamed that too. I put sweet-and-sour sauce on the rice and spooned everything else on top. And I stirred in some shredded cheddar cheese. (White rice is my favorite thing to use shredded cheese with.) It wasn't very meticulous, but it was yummy.
I've got to get around to making that German stew thingy again.
One time when I had to make dinner for my house at college, I just followed my muse to this very satisfying meal...
Three sliced Polish sausages.
Half a head of green cabbage.
An apple or two. (I don't know what variety
is best--something good for cooking!)
Half a package of pepperjack cheese. (You
know, one of those little packages.)
Three sticks of celery.
A cucumber.
There may have been other stuff in there too,
and probably should be or you'll be going heavy on the meat and cheese,
but that's the basic idea. Boil the cabbage but just stew the
rest
in a big stew pot.
Mashed potatoes, hmmm...
On the first day I ever drove a vehicle alone, just after I got back from dropping off my soon-to-be-vacationing parents at the airport, I was euphoric, and I had the best damn meal based on instant potatoes that I think a person can hope for. I tried to recreate it later and while still good, it wasn't quite the same. Anyway, fry or saute a couple sliced zucchinis with bacon bits. Add lots of green onions and green olives while it's cooking. Prepare a saucepan full of instant mashed potatoes. While it's still nice and hot, stir in lots of sour cream and some ricotta cheese. Stir the veggies in gently. Serve, if you feel like it, with beef medallions or broilled chicken strips. It's soooo good.
I like my Malt-O-Meal!
Well, I went to college in Northfield, Minnesota, the Malt-O-Meal capital of the world. It can be good stuff. Prepare it according to the instructions (using some milk instead of all water), but add a sliced banana and some mandarin orange slices just after you add the Malt-O-Meal. Put some raisins in near the end. Make it thick. Stir in some brown sugar and serve in a moat of condensed milk. Optionally, drop in a chunk of baking chocolate during cooking. Or gently stir in some strawberry jelly before you eat.
Twenty salad cherries
A dozen strawberries, sliced
A sliced peach
Thirty small chocolate-covered pretzels, crumbled
A Red Delicious apple, cored and diced
Two pears, cored and diced
Two bananas, sliced diagonally
Two cups of Kix cereal (dots)
A dozen marshmallows (power pellets)
Mix lightly and serve. Worth over 40,000 points.
Thorin's Soup That Contains Turnips
Since I never eat turnips, I decided to buy some not long ago, and then I was faced with finding a way to eat them. I chose a route that is rare for me but worked out very well: soup!
First, briefly saute:
Dump it into six cups of boiling chicken bouillon, and add:
Now for the secret ingredient: four breaded chicken cheddar patties. I got them on impulse at the lake Street Cub Foods. Cook them in the toaster oven, stirring the soup occasionally. Now tear them into little pieces and add them to the soup, along with:
Stir, then cover and cook on medium for 20 minutes. Reduce to simmer and serve. Feel free to prepare completely differently.