~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time, there was a wizard called Penicillin, who was fighting
the good battle against another wizard who was also named Penicillin, but
on account of being six years younger was officially known as Penicillin
the Lesser by the Wizards’ Council. Now, Penicillin the Greater was
known as the Red Wizard because he had once been a communist, but now favored
a more transcendentalist view of life, and therefore resented the label
fervently. The younger Penicillin was known as the Lungfish Wizard
because he liked lungfish a lot. He also resented his label but tolerated
it so that he didn’t come off as curmudgeonly to his admirers. Anyway,
Penicillin the Greater threw a spool of thread at Penicillin the Lesser,
who ducked and threw back an eggplant. Penicillin the Greater ate
the eggplant without using his teeth and cast up a great raging wall of
flame. Penicillin the Lesser countered by conjuring up a fierce and
loathsome beast made entirely out of Spam, which leapt through the flame
and besought the elder wizard. However, Penicillin the Greater teleported
himself to a spot behind his nemesis, whereupon he took into his agile
hands a pair of drumsticks, and made a tom-tom of the other’s crown with
blinding motions. Penicillin the Lesser in his surprise tumbled backwards
and slipped on the spool of thread his enemy had inexplicably hurled earlier,
thus revealing the dire purpose which had been contained therein, and flinging
his body into the bulk of the fire. Before he was consumed, however,
he summoned an anvil from the midst of chaos, which fell directly on the
Red Wizard’s drumsticks, cracking them. A great volley of splinters
was sent flying back into the wizard’s face, causing him to tumble out
the window into a Great Sea of Boiling Mustard which had been commissioned
for the holidays and wouldn’t have been there except for an oversight.
And so it was that both wizards perished.
Alone in the smoldering room, dark and isolated
in the abandoned factory, the Spam monster raised its head and peeped around.
It was terrified and confused. It had no memory and no perceptible
instinct but to destroy the Red Wizard, which had been done. Its
life seemed to have no further purpose.
It left the building and went searching for
a life in the wide countryside beyond the Boiling Sea. Soon it came
upon a group of children playing jacks. One of them bounced a rubber
ball and picked up fourteen of the jacks, linking them with a flick of
the wrist into a grand and majestic arch of metal interweave, not unlike
the great bridges made by carpenter ants or the lattices of a well-known
radio tower the children still tell stories about. He slung the mammoth
chain behind his back and jumped it as a rope fifty times, and then reenacted
a bawdy chariot race, using the chain of jacks as a terrible whip.
Dropping the chain, he then reached out to catch the rubber ball, only
to find that the Spam monster had seized it out of midair. “Please,
sir,” she pled, having decided in the interim to assume a feminine identity,
“don’t harm that ball any more. It’s done its duty to you.”
“Who are you?” asked the children all at once.
“I don’t know. I haven’t got a name,”
said the Spam monster.
“Then I shall call you Dinah,” said the curious
one, “and you shall be mine forevermore. Oh, the times we shall have!”
“But you can’t keep me as your own,” she said.
“I’m a monster.”
“Is that a challenge?” asked the curious boy.
“I’m Harold, in case you’re wondering, and I have quite an appetite.
It would be a shame for you to end up on a toasted biscuit, now wouldn't
it?”
Dinah could hardly help but agree, and so
she served the boy Harold as a slave for seventeen years, at which point
he went off to take over the family business in the city, and Dinah was
left to oversee the domestic servants. They suggested that they celebrate
by having a picnic, and that Dinah should serve herself as the main course,
but Dinah was not partial to this idea, and so she fired all the servants
and was left as the sole caretaker of an oppressively large estate, with
the responsibility to have it cleaned whenever the boy or any member of
his family should happen to return. She despaired, as the task was
next to impossible to complete on her own. She therefore decided
to live in the house as long as she could, until one of the family came
to use it and found it in shambles, whereupon she would undoubtedly be
dismissed.
As she had acquired a rather adept mind for
science in the seventeen years of her service, she spent her days in the
laboratory, studying her own body and trying to figure out how such a homogeneous
construct as herself was able to live. It seemed a complete mystery,
as no trace of chemical activity could be found. She also researched
the Lungfish Wizard by whom she had been spawned, but came no closer to
understanding her own identity in the process.
After a few weeks had passed, the neighborhood
action groups began to visit Dinah. She always contributed to their
causes from the household treasury, and on an invitation from one of the
nicer solicitors she decided one afternoon to visit the local park.
The group was protesting the disease of dysentery by playing music and
selling balloons, and Dinah bought a balloon and had a delightful conversation
with one of the members, a quietly enthusiastic botanist in his late thirties
named Raúl, and was just about to relax and enjoy the band when
a Representative of Dysentery showed up and demanded a public debate with
the leader of the group, a nice, generally sedentary but ambitious woman
named Theresa, who promptly accepted. The platforms were prepared,
and before long the Representative of Dysentery was making his opening
speech, a long, boorish piece about the importance of including abdominal
pain and bloody, mucousy feces as a part of the common culture. His
points were easily and casually rebuffed by Theresa, however, and it was
not long at all before the crowd had booed him down and was calling for
vengeance.
“What will we do to him?” Raúl asked.
“Hanging him would be too sweet.”
“Well, we’ve got a monster with us today,
haven’t we?”
“Hey, yeah! Why not let Dinah eat him?”
“Dinah? Want to do your part and help
the group out?”
Dinah looked dubious. “I’d love to pitch
in, but I’ve never eaten anything before,” she said.
“You haven’t?” Theresa exclaimed. “But
how do you survive?”
Dinah shrugged. “I get along.”
“Well, what better time to start than now?
Go and devour the man.”
The Dysentery Representative was struggling
madly to escape the clutches of the action group, and when he saw Dinah
reservedly approaching, he went into hysterics. Dinah frowned and
looked at her friends. “I don’t really feel like eating this man,”
she said. “I don’t think I could stomach him, even if I wanted to.”
The action group was disappointed, but tried
to hide it so that they would not offend their new affiliate. “That’s
all right, Dinah,” said Raúl. “We still love you.” But
Dinah had a sour taste in her mouth, which was odd since she had never
eaten anything sour.
Dinah went home feeling rather down.
Unable to confront her anxiety directly, she immersed herself in her work,
and by the end of the week she had created the perfect mousetrap, which
was all the more perfect since in her neglect she had let the mansion become
infested with mice. While some mousetraps exacted a steep price from
their quarries, that of life itself, others professed to be more humane,
whatever that might mean, and to this measure spared the lives of the mice
they trapped. Dinah’s contraption took a different approach; rather
than simply kill or entrap the mouse that seized its bait, her machine
was designed to put the creature through a complex and medically thorough
set of enhancement procedures acting on a drugged piece of graham cracker
which would eventually result in the mouse’s development of sophisticated
speech faculties and an evolved social conscience. Dinah heard a
noise in the middle of the night, and when she reached the parlour, she
discovered that her creation had worked.
“Sakes ‘a mighty!” babbled the mouse as it
sprang from chair to chair, a small creature furred unfortunately in a
muddy gray-brown coat. “And what unmerciful god created thee?
What a beastly countenance, if you don’t mind my saying so, a truly idiosyncratic
aberrance! Well, hast thee any answers?”
“My name is Dinah,” interrupted the monster,
“and you would do well to treat me with a little more respect. I’m
perfectly aware of my odd metabolic state, thank you, and I might add that
if it weren’t for me, you’d still be an ordinary mouse—insensible to the
higher pleasures of life.”
The mouse stared at her, poised on an armrest.
“And that’s supposed to be a favor you’ve done me, then? You’ve done
me the kindness of delivering me from my natural place in things, alienating
me from my family and community, and all I had that was dear, and you want
me to show you a little respect on account of it? I’d advise you
to think twice the next time you go doing someone a favor! What kind
of rank matter are you made from, anyway?”
Dinah sat down patiently on the staircase.
“Ham and shoulder pork,” she answered. “The flesh of pigs . . . with
a little salt and a little nitrate, for coloring.”
The mouse’s stare became poisoned.
“Well, don’t stare at me like that.
I didn’t choose to be made of Spam. And I realize you must be going
through a rather shocking period, but believe me, the new possibilities
I’ve opened up for you are worthwhile. You just have to give yourself
some time to look around . . . talk to people. Social intercourse
can be quite satisfying.”
The mouse began to mutter. “I’m the
victim of a classic abuse chain. Some bizarre force draws a creature
into existence out of ground-up tendons and pink chemicals, and naturally,
she decides her only fitting sort of child is another freak of nature with
no roots. Alas!”
“I don’t contain any more than ten percent
ground tendons,” objected Dinah crossly. “And I resent what you’re
trying to say. I didn’t create you out of nothingness, like I was
created. I don’t bear the responsibility for your existence.
I just tried to give you a gift, to make what you had better. I live
all by myself in this huge mansion—can you blame me for wanting a companion?”
“No one can blame another for wanting,” answered
the mouse, “but to simply take what you want, without asking first, now
that’s a recipe for contempt. How am I supposed to face my brothers
and sisters again, now that I’m the way I am? We’ll never see face
to face again, I’m near convinced.”
Dinah came across the room and bowed her head.
“I’m sorry for acting impulsively,” she said. “Won’t you forgive
me? I’ve grown so lonely these past few weeks, never knowing whether
my master Harold or his kin will come home tomorrow and find the house
a wreck, never knowing how much longer I have before I’m cast penniless
out into the world. Won’t you comfort me, even if I’ve done you wrong?”
“Well, I won’t fluff your pillows. You’ve
made a mess of your life, it seems, which is hardly surprising. What
relation exactly do you have with this Harold chap?”
So Dinah told the story of her service to
Harold; of laboring for ceaseless hours in order to anticipate his every
whim; of growing ever closer to penetrating his secret dreams, and yet
always remaining distant from their source; of rising slowly through the
ranks until the bright morning she was finally appointed majordomo; and
by the time she was finished, the mouse had somehow managed to brew some
tea, and the two sat beside the fireplace talking about the situation.
Dinah was never able to soften the mouse’s heart, but she did win its sympathies,
and in time they came to see eye to eye on the issues surrounding their
own actualization, and were not the worst of companions.
Some few weeks later, Dinah had Raúl
over as a guest. She was showing him the laboratory, and the two
were discussing botany when a telegram arrived. “LOST BUSINESS.
FORTUNE DOWN DRAIN. RETURNING FRIDAY. HAROLD.”
Dinah nearly went pale. “It’s over,”
she moaned. “My days of provision are over, and I’ll be cast out,
left to fend for myself! What am I to do, Raúl?”
“You could join our fight against hideous
diseases,” suggested the botanist. “We could always use another vigilant
monster in our ranks to devour the unfaithful.”
“But I don’t eat, Raúl,” she reminded
him.
“Oh, that’s right. Well, if you don’t
eat, that makes things a peck easier on you, doesn’t it? All you
have to do is find a place to sleep at night.”
“I don’t sleep either,” she said.
“You don’t? Well then, Dinah, what’s
the problem? You can do what you want to do, go where you want to
go! What does it matter if you don’t have a position anymore?”
“Oh, Raúl,” she said, and fell in the
general direction of his arms. “A position’s all that I ever had.
I know I don’t need it to survive, but I do need something to convince
myself that I’m earning my time on this planet! Those who scrape
by from meal to meal can at least take pride in the scraping! What
am I to do?”
“There, there,” said Raúl, who was
rather overwhelmed by trying to hold and comfort his friend. He tried
to arrange her arms so that they were over his shoulders, but Dinah’s anatomy
was confusing, and when he found he had hold of her lower jaw instead,
he gave it up and set her upright once more, or as close to it as she normally
came. “Pull yourself together, Dinah! You’re a very worthy
creature and a good friend, and I’m sure you could find a post in any scientific
laboratory in the country. Show them that mouse you worked on.
I guarantee they’ll be impressed.”
“They’d probably decide to dissect me instead.”
“Oh, come now. You could put a non-dissection
clause in the contract. Don’t be so diffident. You’ve become
too attached to this mansion. If you wanted to, I’d wager you could
even get a job in my botany laboratory.”
“But I don’t know anything about plants!”
“I daresay it won’t matter. The scope
of our projects is wide, and I’m sure your knowledge would end up helping
us out. Do consider it, Dinah.”
Dinah agreed to keep her options open.
She saw him out soon after with a hug, and that night she traversed the
halls idly, putting things slowly in their places, dusting where she could,
but she knew all the while that the house was far too large and sullied
to be put right in a single week. She began humming to herself, perhaps
hoping that the rhythm of the composition would lead her spirit onward
to conquer her next vocation, whatever it might turn out to be.
“Match of rummy?” asked the mouse, popping
out of a nearby fault in the baseboards. “I think it’d do you good.”
“I can’t, Eekweek,” she replied, Eekweek being
the mouse’s name. “Useless though it may be, I’ve got to do what
I can for the abode. Master Harold’s coming home Friday.”
“Oh, the Master’s coming, is he? And
as usual, the mere thought of judgment on how you’ve spent the spring sends
you into a daze. Dinah, why don’t you just tell the man why you had
to send the servants away and be done with it? I’m sure he can’t
blame you for preserving your own life.”
“You don’t know Master Harold,” Dinah replied.
“He’ll have wanted me to send word as soon as I’d fired the others, he’ll
have wanted me to find replacements. He’ll have no sympathy for me.”
The mouse sat up, looking thoughtful.
“Call me inconsiderate, but the more I hear of this Harold, the more I
look forward to meeting him,” it said. “I’ve been looking through
his records. His father made quite a fortune in the jack industry,
didn’t he?”
“Yes,” said Dinah, “but Harold seems to have
lost it. He always had a hand for jacks, but I suppose a mind for
business is another matter entirely.”
“Even so, he knows when a servant’s shirked,
now doesn’t he? So go ahead and take what’s spooned out to you, Dinah.
Do yourself proud. But don’t waste your time tidying up what’s not
meant to be tidied. Have a heart for those who are here at the present
moment and deal out a hand of rummy instead.”
So Dinah whiled away the remainder of the
week in idle sport with the mouse, and when Friday came, she felt so liberated
that she rather capriciously left Eekweek to answer the bell and went on
a vacation in the countryside. Her path took her over a tall hill
bedecked with jumbled bushes and shrubs which, though disorderly, were
pleasing to pass through, and on to a town on the open plain, where a dance
was being held for all the eligible young folk. Dinah sat near the
pavilion and watched the dance, enjoying the energy in the air and comparing
the musicians to the ones she knew who played for the local action groups.
Before long, an exuberant young man in tasteful suede presented himself
and asked Dinah to dance. “No special experience required,” he added.
“You want to dance with me? A monster
made out of Spam?”
“It ain’t no use bein’ picky in the springtime,
ma’am. And I haven’t got nothin’ against canned food, unlike to some
of my kinfolk.”
“Well,” laughed Dinah, taking the young man’s
hand, “I’m certainly touched by your compassion. But I’m not at all
sure I can dance.”
The young stranger shrugged, and with a flip
of his limber arms he extended the shrug into a wild twirl, in which he
and the monster effortlessly changed places across the length of the pavilion
and into the field, laughing like pinwheels all the way. Dinah, who
had no proper legs, but rather a set of sliding treads of diverse sizes
juxtaposed over the posterior of her body, which she utilized in varying
patterns of alternation to achieve locomotion, was able to raise and lower
herself in ways she had never before attempted, and felt no misgiving at
taking the young stranger for a ride.
When the music was over, the young man found
his balance with a chuckle, headed for the edge of the pavilion, and sat
with Dinah away from the stares of his comrades, where he complimented
her on her dancework. “Mighty saucy for a first try. Mind if
I ask your name?”
“Dinah.”
“I’m Halbert. Pleased to meet you, Dinah,
honest I am. I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward here, but
you’ve gotta understand, I have an interest in folk like you. My
old man, bless his soul, when he was alive and kicking he made monsters
for a living!”
“Oh? Was he a bioengineer?”
Halbert shook his head dismissively.
“Naw. Wizard. He died before I made it to eight years, but
even before then his work took up most of his attention. Between
conjuring and lungfish, he hardly could scrape himself together any time
to raise me!” And the young man laughed. “So I got brought
up, practically speaking, by my grandparents. Nice old folks, they
taught me proud.”
Dinah was left gaping in astonishment.
She glanced at the roof of the pavilion, suddenly amazed at her surroundings,
and looked back at Halbert. “The son of the Lungfish Wizard,” she
spoke, half inwardly. “You live here.”
“You knew my pop, then! Well, black
my boots and color me purple, it certainly is a blessed small world, ain’t
it? Did you know him personal or just by reputation, Dinah?”
“I was created by his hand,” said Dinah softly.
“He drew me into existence just before his death.”
Halbert was left frowning without an answer
for just a second, but his smile flew right back and he threw out his hand
for a handshake. “Is that so? Wouldn’t you know it, I’ve been
dancing with my sister! Mighty pleased to make your acquaintance,
Dinah, and I must say it’s a right pity you never got to know the old man
better. He could be a real ghoul in the middle of a battle, but talk
to him when he wasn’t busy, and he’d keep you riveted all the evening.
He could sure tell a story, my pop could.”
Dinah shifted politely and accepted the handshake
as well as she could. “Well, to tell the truth, it was over so quickly
I didn’t even get a chance to say hello. He was burned to death.”
Halbert’s face darkened and his eye acquired
a twinkle of a tear. “Burned, you say? He must’ve been burnt
well nigh to a crisp, I guess . . . that must’ve been why there was nothing
left to find. Poor old pop.”
“You have my sympathies, Halbert. I
expect living as a wizard’s son must have been a trial, and you appear
to have come through it about as well as one might hope for.”
“A trial? Well, yes, at times.
Other times it was magical, no better word to describe it.” Wiping
his eyes on his shirt-sleeve, he peered up at Dinah and confessed, “I don’t
really feel like dancing any more, Dinah. Can you imagine that?”
“I understand,” said Dinah.
“Would you like to stop off at my home awhile?
It’s brand new—that is, brand new for me. The old house’s been standing
awhile . . . but I just moved in a few weeks ago. My folks and I
all agreed it was about time I got myself married, and what better attraction
for a prospective wife than a bright empty house? Even if it ain’t
so bright as all that.”
“And you were hoping to find a wife at this
dance?”
Halbert shrugged. “Here or there, I’ve
got to find one eventually.” With a blink he hopped up to his feet
and forced a smile onto his face. “But I don’t have to worry about
it all the time. I mean, here I’ve just found a sister I never knew
I had! Want to visit and get to know each other better?”
Dinah scooted forward with enthusiasm.
“I would love it!” she exclaimed.
Halbert turned out to live within a mile of
the pavilion, and so he and Dinah arrived without the aid of mount or vehicle
within the half-hour. Dinah explained that she had done a bit of
research on Penicillin the Lesser, but that it had not illuminated her
existence much, and therefore that she was overjoyed to have found a close
relation to the man. Halbert understood her difficulty, but professed
to be unable to shed much light on her inner nature, as he lacked proficiency
in the arts of magic. “But if you haven’t figured it out in seventeen
years,” he added, “there may be no hope for you. Or contrawise, could
be you’ve got it all figured out already.” And he poked her playfully
in the shoulder.
They arrived at the house, which was cozy
both within and without. It consisted of a single story and was furnished
with a single bedroom, but the furnishings were tastefully plain and caught
the sunlight well. Halbert sat down on a vinyl sofa and patted the
spot beside him, but Dinah elected to remain upright. She took pleasure
in examining a set of glass vials on the sideboard, each of which contained
a crystalline substance of a different hue and texture.
“What are these, Halbert?”
“Those are something they found in my dad’s
lab. He was keeping ‘em in a real central place, so they seemed pretty
important, but no one knows just what the things are. You have any
clue?”
“No . . . but I wish I had. Halbert,
there’s a laboratory in the mansion I live in. I could test these
substances to see what they are. Shall I take them?”
“Yep, you can go ahead and take them, and
if you’re willing, you can take me too! I’ve always wanted to see
a mansion up close.”
“Well . . .” Dinah turned to face Halbert
reluctantly. “I’m afraid that my master might be home. He sent
word he’d be back today—oh dear, I hope he doesn’t turn me out before I
get a chance to use the laboratory. I suppose I could always call
on Raúl . . .”
“Who’s that?”
“A scientist I know. But I really don’t
think you should come home with me. I’d prefer to call as little
attention to myself as possible.”
Halbert spread his hands. “If that’s
what your best judgment’s telling you, I’ll fly by it. But don’t
take the vials just yet, not unless you’re in an awful hurry. Don’t
you have time for a drink of something and a little rest?”
“I don’t drink, but thank you, I will stay
awhile,” said Dinah. In the coming hours she enjoyed a very pleasant
stay indeed at Halbert’s house, and, in response to his natural questions,
she passed on the story of her life to the son of her creator, just as
she had passed it to her own creation only weeks before. When she
finally left, the afternoon was but a memory.
“You can feel free to live here with me, if
everything breaks loose,” Halbert offered. “Until I find myself a
wife, that is, and maybe after, depending on her feelings about it.”
“I am grateful,” said Dinah, and with that,
she bowed and took the vials of seeming crystal with her on her way, through
the town and onto the plain, up and over the brackened hill and through
the countryside, all the way back to her lonely home, where she found,
to her surprise, that Eekweek was trapped on a chair in one corner of the
sitting room, beleaguered by a soot-gray cat, barely grown. “Help
me!!” he cried when Dinah’s arrival became apparent.
Dinah hurried into the sitting room and drove
the cat away, and when it had gone, she shut the door so that it could
not return, and asked the mouse what had occurred.
“Well, there’s your telegram for you, Dinah
my sweet, and it’s not the bad news you dreaded, though it nearly took
my life from behind when I wasn’t ready. Bad things happen in unexpected
ways, don’t you know, it makes them all the worse.”
“What are you talking about, Eekweek?”
“The telegram. You remember: ‘Lost business,
fortune down drain, returning Friday, Harold.’ And you read the thing
and assumed the worst. Oh, very good, Dinah, and you’ve taken to
calling yourself an optimist.”
“I like to think that optimism is one of the
few virtues a creature made of Spam can claim for herself.”
“Well this is all your telegram amounts to:
Master Harold didn’t lose possession of the business, he just misplaced
the blighted thing. Apparently he had trouble meeting all his incoming
orders for jacks in different parts of the city, so he set the business
on wheels—a recreational vehicle, to use the common term. And one
bloody day he forgot where he parked the thing, so instead of being a responsible
executive officer and retracing his steps, he just sold the title to the
highest bidder and decided to invest in something else until he could earn
enough to buy it back. So the fellow spent all his money on a specially
commissioned jack made all out of platinum, to avoid losses from inflation,
don’t you know, and he grew so fond of the thing that he took it everywhere
he went—even to the shower. Well, what do you expect but that one
day he drops it, and bloop! His fortune’s down the drain. All’s not
lost, though: he hires a plumber to come and retrieve his curio.
Problem is, the operation takes weeks, seeing as how jumbled up the plumbing
is in that house he’s got, and all the sawing and sluicing and drilling
looks likely to fill the air all full of dust and noise and make the house
no place to live in. So he finds a nice hotel room and moves in for
the meantime. But wouldn’t you know it, the place doesn’t allow cats.
So he’s got to send his precious young kitty Friday back home to stay with
Dinah until the plumbing’s done. At least, that’s what it said on
the note the cat’s got around its neck.”
Dinah stared at the mouse in amazement, and
then flung open the door and went searching for the cat. She did
not have to search long, as the rambunctious feline was practically pawing
at the door, and when given the opportunity it sprang once more for Eekweek.
Dinah served once more as the mouse’s savior, but managed to shoo the cat
into the hall this time, and not out of doors. She then followed
it and fed it, and within a few hours she had managed to groom the unsightly
thing and make it feel comfortable, whereupon it promptly fell asleep.
Dinah was beside herself with relief.
Her first impulse was to set out the sterling silver in its display cases,
the way it had once been, and this she did, humming a merry tune, until
her better senses took possession of her once more, and she realized that
even if Harold was not returning straight away, to clean the house unassisted
was still beyond her capacity, and that therefore her problem remained
unsolved. Somewhat sobered but in charge of herself once more, Dinah
closed up the display cases and went to the laboratory, where she spent
the remainder of the day in determined analysis of the vials she had brought
from Halbert’s house.
“So you’ve taken on a new project,” observed
the mouse that night from the lower ventilation grate, which system it
had taken to perusing.
“Yes, Eekweek. And I think that by the
merest chance, it’s going to pay off.” She told it then all about
meeting Halbert, and about receiving the multicolored vials from his father’s
laboratory. “And I think I’ve discovered what they are, or at least
what category of study they fall under. These vials were used in
experiments with homogeneous life!”
“Homogeneous life,” muttered the mouse.
“Much like the life I lead here, I expect. The same tunnels to tread,
the same cupboards to scavenge, the same doleful monster as my only company
day after day. Why anyone would want to research such a thing I can’t
imagine.”
“No, I mean living things made of the same
material throughout. Like me, Eekweek! Life at the atomic level—or
something like it, anyway. But organized at a higher level in a way
that lends the entire body cohesion. The thing is, there aren’t any
cells in the contents of these vials, and there’s no difference at all
in a sample taken from one part or another, not even a subtle difference
in the way the units are connected. These substances are all living
things, if one takes a broad view of the word, despite being pure chemical
constructs.”
“Well you’ve baffled me once again, Dinah,
once and twice and thrice, and no end in sight. I don’t understand
what you’ve said and I won’t pretend I do, but let me ask you this: why
would a wizard need to do scientific research at all? Doesn’t a chap
like that use magic? And not test tubes?”
“I suppose he used science to supplement his
spellcasting,” answered Dinah. “How incredibly fascinating.
I wonder if any others like me have survived.”
“I certainly hope not. If the complexity
of a being’s makeup has aught to do with the quality of the music it makes,
which certainly doesn’t seem impossible with you in mind, then if they
all came here to live with you, I’d go entirely out of my mind. I
wouldn’t be able to stand the humming.”
“Are you quite certain you wouldn’t want to
go out of your mind,” Dinah scolded. “You haven’t shown terribly
much appreciation for it since I gave it to you.”
“When you bestow an unexpected gift on an
unwitting recipient, don’t be surprised if a compliment is not immediately
forthcoming,” said the mouse. And with that, it bowed slightly to
show that it was still in good humor despite appearances, and scampered
off through the woodwork. Dinah was left alone with her discoveries.
The next Monday, Dinah had Halbert over to
the mansion, and true to his word, he loved every minute of it. She
was only barely able to pry him away from the trophy room and lead him
into the sitting room, which was just as captivating if less impressive,
with its covered octagonal settees and ancient armchairs of graven mahogany.
His eye immediately fell on the cat Friday, and he hustled over to its
chosen bench and took it into his lap with only a dash of effort.
Dinah watched him with admiration.
“Sweet little thing,” he murmured. “Always
loved cats, I have. There, there, you just loosen up and relax.”
Dinah opened the drapes, and the sun entering
the sitting room did wonderful things for the cat and its comforter.
She stood, watching, for several moments, and the moments grew into peaceful
minutes, and then she spoke.
“Halbert. I’d like to take up magic.”
He looked up askew at her, his eyebrows raised.
“Magic? You want be a magician, Dinah?”
“I do, Halbert. I’ve decided that it’s
the only way I can come to understand myself fully. And Halbert,
that’s what I want more than anything else, more even than staying on as
a servant to Master Harold.”
“You want to know how you were made,” he said
knowingly. “Just like a woman wants a child so she can take a look
at her childhood from another angle, so to speak. I daresay you’ve
got yourself a smidgen of maternal instinct, haven’t you, Dinah?”
Dinah found herself moved emotionally; she
came closer to Halbert and lowered herself to his height; she stroked the
cat gently. “I do,” she answered.
“Well, that’s wonderful,” said Halbert.
The moments passed, and within half a minute they both found tears in their
eyes, though Dinah’s were nothing more than saltwater. The cat mewed,
and life went on: Halbert walked down the hallway after Friday, Dinah followed,
and soon the cat was fed and sleeping, and the two were sitting in the
parlour, industriously discussing the trades of magic. Halbert had
said that he was unlearned in the art, but turned out to know more than
he thought. He waved his arms and described the great moment of a
wizard constructing a spell, prolonged thirtyfold in the telling, as Dinah
listened, mesmerized.
“And just how long does a body have to study
for such nonsense to become sense?” asked the rough voice of Eekweek from
the next room. “It can’t be easy, that I’m sure of.”
“If it were easy, why, most every other profession’d
get pushed out before long. Put enough magic in the world and there’s
no need for the farming type, for starters; sooner or later we’d figure
out how to churn out food faster than we could eat it—once a maker of something,
a manufacture man, once he got an idea out into the world we’d have wizards
copying it until the poor inventor went out of business. No sir,
magic ain’t easy, and I hope I don’t live to see the day it is. But
that’s enough of an answer, I think, and now you could introduce yourself.
I’m Halbert, son of Penicillin the Lesser.”
“Dinah told me about you. I’m her first
attempt at understanding herself, if that means anything to you, and a
rather bungled one at that, seeing as there’s no real parallel between
us, though we both might delude ourselves on that measure from time to
time.”
“That’s one mighty swell name you’ve got there,
friend. Is there anything I could call you for short, do you think?”
“Yes, you can call me Eekweek. So Dinah’s
going to be taking up magic, is she? No doubt to try again, and who
knows? This time maybe she’ll patch together something grateful for
her factitious motherhood—the world has seen stranger offspring.”
“I don’t like the way you’re talking, especially
seeing as how you’re a mouse, and mice don’t talk all too much in my experience.”
“You’d go to visit a friend and silence her
housemate who’s only trying to make sense?” retorted the mouse. “Blame
Dinah for my busy tongue, if you’d blame someone. She gave it to
me on a piece of graham cracker. I can’t stop dreaming that someday
she’ll learn something from it.”
“That’s enough, Eekweek,” said Dinah, standing
up gravely. “I haven’t determined to create another homogeneous life
form yet, so don’t go on your old tangent.”
“But you will be doing something?” asked Halbert.
“Something with the stuff in those old vials?”
“I may. For now, I have to learn the
basics. So, if you will, Halbert, continue with what you were saying.”
Eekweek did not leave them alone, but did
not make more of a nuisance than was advisable to keep the interest of
teacher and student alive, and by the time the evening had given way to
night, Halbert had taught Dinah everything he knew about the art.
“And this time I mean it,” he said.
“I don’t know how I can repay you,” said Dinah.
“It’s not that I don’t have means—you can help yourself to any article
in the house. It’s that I don’t yet know how much your help will
turn out to be worth. But I suspect it will be worth quite a bit,
Halbert, perhaps more than anything I ever received. Time will tell.
Would you accept a hug from a beast made of solid meat?”
“I’d accept a hug from plumb near anything,
long as it’s lovin’ me and not trying to kill me,” Halbert answered with
a radiant grin. He hugged Dinah, heedless of the oily texture, and
departed, taking nothing from the mansion.
Halbert had not taught Dinah how to do magic
of any sort, but he had taught her the appropriate state of mind to be
in if magic was to happen. She performed the exercises he had taught
her all through the night and into the morning, perfecting them as far
as her wisdom would allow, until her meditational reverie was violated
by a ring on the bell. She came to herself quickly and hurried through
the hallways and down the stairs. When she answered the door, an
unfamiliar manservant stood before her, trim, poised, and unbelieving.
“Heavens!” the man exclaimed. “So it’s
true what young Harold’s done! If you’re the head caretaker of this
estate, you must have an ungodly good hand with the movables and fineries,
madam. Otherwise I don’t see why he’d keep you on.”
Dinah, needless to say, was amazed at the
man’s impropriety, and nearly too much so to speak. She sighted,
however, a carriage on the promenade, and realized that her time of judgment
had come. “I suppose you’re with the family—” she murmured, looking
hard at the carriage in order to determine whose it was, “—and that you
have a excellent talent for mendacity, for I can’t imagine your master
could be so shortsighted as to mistake your actual opinions for courtesy.”
Her words were soft, but not missed, and the servant took on a tremendous
scowl.
“You will bring your master or mistress here
at once,” said Dinah, taking control before he could speak, “and will not
set foot in this house until this is done.”
The servant turned about without disputing
this, and soon he returned in attendance upon an aging woman whose well-tailored
gray and blue apparel suited her perfectly, and whose face and hair were
wrinkled and grayed even in excess of her probable age, yet did not efface
the worthy bearing she maintained. She carried no burden but the
expression on her face; her servant carried her bags. She walked
the full distance to the front door and looked Dinah in the face, whereupon
she frowned.
“May I help you?” asked Dinah politely.
“You may help me to your utmost capacity,”
answered the woman, “and then you may continue to help me, once you have
rested. You are in my employ, after all, and that is what employees
do: they help their employers. I am Asaia Gambolin, aunt to your
master Harold, and I will be taking up residence here indefinitely.”
“Naturally,” Dinah said meekly, “but you may
be disappointed at your relocation. The house has not been kept in
condition.”
Stiffness overtook the woman’s jaw.
“Not in condition,” she repeated. “And why not? Did Harold
relieve his staff of that duty?”
Dinah shook her head. “The staff has
been relieved of all duties, but not by him. It was by my direction
that they have all gone elsewhere. I found I could not work with
them.”
“You could not?” asked Gambolin intensely.
“And so it was they who left, and not you?”
“I am the majordomo,” pled Dinah. “And
they threatened to eat me. I had no choice.”
“That is an excuse I have heard one time too
often,” replied Gambolin. “Your choice, even if all is as you say,
was to leave yourself, rather than condemn the residence to unlivability.
Is this house, then, entirely unprepared for my arrival?”
“Yes, madam. Though I will extend my
greatest effort to accommodate you in any manner you desire.”
The Lady Gambolin straightened herself, though
she grew looser in the same motion, and walked inside. She passed
through the foyer with a few cursory glances, and Dinah followed, sandwiched
between the lady and her servant. Gambolin walked down the hallway,
peeked into a side room or two, dusted off a doorframe, and walked straight
into the dining room, where she squinted into the sunlight, which was filtering
through the blinds, it seemed, directly into her eyes. Turning, she
paused before the first case of sterling silver, and stooping, she examined
the display. It met with her approval. Dinah stood by with
satisfaction as the aunt of her master circled the room, looking over the
cases she had pleasured herself by arranging only the preceding Friday.
At last, the woman came to face Dinah, and she wore a smile on her jowls,
if not on her stiffened mouth.
“You have not allowed it to slip too far,”
she said, “and under the circumstances that is commendable. I see
that my nephew has finally given up his antiquated preference for orderly
arrangements in favor of the more modern style of asymmetrical gravitation,
which is a load taken from my mind. The furniture has been kept pleasantly
rustic, which is a relief; I was worried Harold would have polished it.
In short, you seem to have done a fine job all by yourself, and I am not
displeased.”
Dinah was caught in a quandary as to whether
she should answer honestly, but she was saved the trouble of a decision
by Gambolin’s next comment. “It seems, contrarily to what I expected,
that one servant is enough to maintain this house. This is a useful
surprise, and I shall take full advantage of it. My attendant, of
course, will remain, being something of a friend to me. You are released
from service, majordomo.”
“Released from service?” echoed Dinah, bewildered
by how pleasing it sounded on the surface. “But—but I thought my
work appealed to you! Surely you can’t expect to keep this entire
mansion in order with one man alone!”
“And what can’t a man do that you can?” inquired
Gambolin fiercely. “Strange creature. Do you think you were
cut out for service? Look at yourself, majordomo.”
Dinah sank two inches into herself, and then
turned and quit the room. She found Eekweek and quietly said goodbye,
and then she left the mansion, carrying nothing but a single case of odds
and ends from her work in the laboratory, including the collection of vials
from the collection of the Lungfish Wizard. Her path was erratic
at first, but she soon found her way to the laboratory at which Raúl
worked, as she burned inside to do more with what had become her only possessions,
and she had no laboratory at her disposal but his. She knocked at
the door, and was met by a doorguard who saw her to Raúl during
his next period of leisure, which was only a half hour’s wait. He
was unnaturally pleased to see Dinah.
Why, Dinah! Have you come to motivate
us onward with your sinister visage? We need the impetus, you know.”
“Don’t joke, Raúl, please. Not
now! I’ve just been turned off for the most absurd reason, Raúl.
I’m without a home, and I still have so much to do!”
Raúl bowed his head and laid his hands
across his chest. “I’m sorry, Dinah.” Looking up, he gestured
to the lobby in which they spoke, adorned with plants, unusual and usual
alike. “This can be your home now, if you wish it.”
“Yes,” said Dinah softly. “Yes, this
will be my home . . . or at the least it will be where I spend most of
my time.”
“Your home,” said Raúl. “And
whether you seek out a paying job will be up to you. I’ll introduce
you to all the proper people, and in due time I imagine you’ll be making
yourself quite useful. And not as an experiment.”
“Ah, but you have me wrong,” Dinah answered.
“At this point in my life I would prefer nothing more than to be an experiment.
But I wish to be chief experimenter myself, Raúl, and to have access
to all the tools you yourselves would have in studying me. It pains
me not to ask for a way to earn my stay, truly it pains me. But—I
don’t have time. I must impose myself on you.”
Raúl smiled sweetly and adjusted his
collar. “As you will have it, Dinah. After all, we study plants
here, and you don’t seem quite a plant.”
“Thank you, Raúl, I’ll never forget
this.”
“Go look around, will you? See what
you can find, and at the end of the day I’ll give you a more formal tour.
And good luck to you.”
Raúl took his leave of Dinah, and she
wandered the halls of the extensive laboratory, her case clutched closely
at all times. She perused heated rooms full of seedlings, cool and
humid rooms festooned with pinnate whitish growths and their nutrient mixes,
rooms full of cultures, slide samples, microscopes, experiment records,
and furthermore, she found nearly every tool she was accustomed to, in
one form or another. Dinah was quite pleased with her new surroundings,
and with a quick contortion of the mind, threw herself into them completely,
dropping all melancholy for her old house, and it was not until after Raúl
had given her his promised tour and left her alone that it struck her how
unperturbing the shift had been. She lay herself back then in the
uniform halflight, and thought of Eekweek with the new mistress of the
house, and cried salt tears.
Dinah did not go out much from then on.
She made friends among the botanists, and learned a little of their science,
and taught them some of hers in return, and it was as true an exchange
as ever there had been, or so it felt to Dinah. She went to visit
Halbert four times: first, to tell him the news of her relocation, and
thereafter thrice for a change of atmosphere after a difficult period.
He opened his doors to her every time, and when she caught him working,
he left off immediately for the visit, as Halbert’s job was one which could
be done on his own hours. And she went to the meetings of the action
groups whenever Raúl went. She no longer felt any strong emotion
at these gatherings, but went as a sort of duty toward herself, though
she wasn’t sure what that might be. And she went to the library sometimes
in the evening, searching for new knowledge concerning the practice of
magic. But most of the time, she stayed in the laboratory, studying
her precious vials, continuing her precious work, and searching for the
elusive link between her basis for existence in science and in magic.
Her notes were often indecipherable, as she
used her own shorthand and shared no projects with the other scientists,
but some were written in plain language, and read thusly:
Am I possible? Intuition says no—intuition may declare life impossible
as whole. Circulatory system: unnecessary in case of continual nourishment
or very quick saturation rate. Otherwise center receives nourishment
last, may become hypertonic swollen. Endocrinal system: nonexistent.
No apparent chemical transfer; how is information transmitted? Cerebral
region indistinguishable. Sense organs: likely rooted in area of
high percentage fine-grind based on weight, liquidity. Skeletal system:
coated rough-grind region, low hydration. Muscular contraction, elongation
absent. Respiration present, pervasive. Possible universal
source for circulation.
Possible transfer of information through inherent
dependence on units to be integrated in predetermined body shape?
Hypothesis: no interaction between subcellular units, specially formed
for particular shape. Surface area serves as brain, stores memory
of contacts, controls entire body, which is able to follow because of predicted
body shape. Nervous system unnecessary.
These notes were scattered across Dinah’s rooms,
and some were buried in the files of her colleagues, who shared her interest
but could make no more headway than Dinah herself. The experiments
whence her hypotheses came were no less prevalent, and they migrated here
and there within the laboratory, many even leading to other, peripherally
related discoveries in which Dinah had no part. The spring turned
into summer, and the summer passed Dinah by out of doors, where she was
not watching for it. The breezes grew chill, and though the gloomy
autumn weather distanced Dinah’s resolve from her heart, it only solidified
in the cold; it did not break.
At last, the longest week of Dinah’s life
faded from the moment, and Dinah was left with her result, wondering what
it meant and how far she had left to go. She was standing before
a phylogeny of life, posted conspicuously on the white column between two
doors in a room littered with coffee remains and tattered magazines, upon
which her friends had honored her by drawing in her classification in red
pen. It had been easy to do and had revealed nothing; since she had
no living cells, the clade she belonged to was distinct from all else,
a separate domain of life. Porcus uniformis, read the diagram, with
the name “Dinah” in parentheses beneath. But the domain remained
a nameless line on the chart.
Dinah drew a deep breath, let it out, and
drew another. As always, it permeated her body end to end and front
to back, but she had rarely noticed it so much before. Slowly, the
business and stress of her work over the past week filtered out, and the
significance was left in stark simplicity. She stood there, numb
with thought, and then took the red pen and reached up to add the name
to her lonely domain: MAGICIA.
Then she stood back, looking at the chart, and presently
she walked out of the room and began to hum.
“Raúl!” she shouted when she reached
his station. “I’ve done it. I’ve found the answer!”
“You have! Dinah, I’m so happy for you!”
He set down his tongs and removed his gloves, and then gave her a sweet
embrace. She felt as if she were lifted off the ground, though she
weighed far too much for that. Raúl stood back and looked
her over, and waited for her explanation.
“I’m not possible,” said Dinah.
“You’re not?”
“Not without magic, Raúl! I feared,
no, I didn’t fear, I hoped, that a thing like me was feasible.” Dinah
laughed. “I can see it now, all the way back—I’ve been wondering
about this my whole life. Maybe the reason I’d lived on after my
creator died was that the only time he used magic was in drawing me into
being—not in making me work! Maybe there was a way my units—I can’t
call them cells, because all the true cells are dead—my units could already
know the shape of my body and react to anything that touched me, making
my whole body into one . . . giant . . . highly complex muscle. But
now I know that’s all preposterous. It’s a little bit of a disappointment,
but . . . but now I know!”
“But how do you know?” asked Raúl jovially.
“I could spend the whole day explaining.
But the key insight was when I created an MFE for one of the crystalline
substances.”
“A magic-free environment?”
“Yes, that’s right. It took what seemed
like forever to attune the box to the specific brand of magic I suspected
was being used in the vial. But when I extracted the vial after an
hour in the box, it had died.”
“I hope you used tongs and didn’t just stick
your hand in,” said Raúl, concerned.
“Of course I did,” said Dinah in good spirits.
“I’m going to be very wary of MFEs in the future, now that I know they
can kill me. This has been such a revelation!”
Raúl patted Dinah on the arm.
“So you’ve finished your personal quest. I’m terribly proud of you.
Will you be taking a position at the laboratory at last?”
Dinah became a touch gloomy, and shook her
head no. “I’ve had enough science for a lifetime,” she murmured.
“Oh, but you can’t mean that, Dinah!
You’ve got one of the most brilliant minds for this work I’ve ever encountered.
Stay, please, and don’t waste it.”
“I—I wish I could,” pled Dinah, “but I’m just
not a scientist. I’ve helped the rest of you when I could, but I’d
be lying to say that was anything but a civil desire to earn my welcome.
Science just isn’t my passion, Raúl. I’m much better suited
to the domestic life.”
Raúl was by this time wringing his
hands. He looked deeply into Dinah’s eyes, and asked, “Even if you
don’t follow up on anything you’ve done in the biological sciences to this
day, will you then consider starting anew? I know you haven’t any
need for a wage, as you don’t need to eat, but if your position here means
anything like what your position at the old mansion did, then please, drop
by from time to time. You can join whatever project you want, I’m
sure of it, and of course we’ll pay you if you make a good job of it.
Come visit us and take pleasure in the scraping, so to speak.”
Dinah shook Raúl’s hand solemnly.
“I will. I’ll remember.”
She then nodded peacefully and left the building.
The mansion of Asaia Gambolin had changed
quite a bit over the summer, and most of it for the worse. The gate
was unoiled; the lawn was untended; the roof was crumbing. Dinah
walked charily up the path and rang at the door, and was answered by the
odious manservant, who asked her business. She answered that it was
a visit, and was reluctantly admitted.
Dinah went straight to the laboratory, however,
and locked herself within for the duration of the afternoon and the beginning
of evening, and when at last she was finished, she put away all the materials
which the lady of the house had not bothered to sort into their respective
cupboards, and then cleaned all of the surfaces which had been defiled
in the long process of her work, and pushed in the chairs and turned out
the lights. The laboratory was bare once more, as it has been when
Dinah had first found it.
Dinah went along the baseboards, tapping where
she knew the woodwork was light, and trying her best to avoid being perceived
by the lady of the house, who presumably knew that she was there, but had
not seen her. She was nearly ready to try the second floor when at
last she heard a scuffle within the wall, and a moment later, beheld the
mouse Eekweek as it popped out shakily into the hall. It was disheveled
from head to tail. Staring at Dinah, it raised his tail above its
head and stood up firmly. “You! At last you’ve come back!
Go ahead, ask me how many times I spent the night listening in the parlour
for your return, waiting at the door even, ask how many times I revisited
the paltry goodbye you gave me in my thoughts, wondering what you could
have meant to make it so brief! And now you come back! Do you
think the lady Gambolin is any sort of fit companion for me? Do you
think I would dare play cards with her man in waiting without fearing a
lethal motive behind it? Heavens, Dinah, you may not have created
me but you certainly put me in a fix, and then, easy as if to drop a problem
were to solve it, you left me all alone, by any civilized standard!
Mice of the world, forever misdoubt the attention of creatures that never
learn to put away their toys! They’ll leave you stranded, not knowing
what hit them, not knowing what left them.” And with that it shuddered,
and its four legs gave at the knees.
“Has it been so awful?”
“It’s been a dreary void, Dinah. I go
to my old family, I drift through their rooms and say hello, but they don’t
recognize my intentions. They drive me out or just ignore me as often
as not. I’ve lost the instinct for wordless communication, and my
dear family isn’t my family anymore. I’m lonely and I’m miserable.
Gambolin’s even trained the cat, that Friday, to hunt me. I’m not
even safe in my own house.”
“I wish I’d known, Eekweek, I truly do!
I would have left my studies and come sooner. Please, forgive me
for taking so long to finally come and deliver your present.”
The mouse looked up and sat heavily for such
a light creature. “My present? Tis a bribe, is it, Dinah?
Is that what you’ve come to give?”
With a gentle motion, Dinah set down the object
she bore on the floor in front of the mouse. She then waited wearily,
hunched forward, but without tension.
Eekweek sniffed at the piece of graham cracker
before it. Looking up at Dinah, it asked, “What’s this, then?
A morsel?”
“It’s the antidote to my trap,” answered Dinah.
“It didn’t take me too long to make it—all I had to do was arrange to reverse
the process I once put you through. You’ll be a normal mouse again,
able to rejoin your family. You may even grow to like the lady Gambolin—I’m
sure she leaves numerous scraps around the kitchen.”
She was answered with a scowl from the mouse
and a cautious claw tapping on the floor. Eekweek was wordless, but
far from motionless. He pawed at the graham cracker, crumbling a
piece of the corner, and at last he sat up and looked at Dinah. “It’s
an unwanted gift, Dinah,” he said.
She only watched him warily. “You mean
you’re not going to eat it?”
“I’ll have no part of it, Dinah. Such
a blazing strong arm you think you have, giving thoughts to people’s brains
and taking them away, never knowing when to go or stay, never giving the
gifts you ought to. Now that you’ve brought me to this place, I’d
daresay you need me. How can I take this cracker? Pah!”
He kicked it away. “You still need my advice, and you certainly can’t
escape it that easily. I won’t have it.”
Dinah brimmed with emotion, but said only
“You’ll willingly waste my whole afternoon’s work.”
“Oh, will I? And you’d have wasted everything
if I’d eaten that graham cracker! Which is better, the great waste
or the small one? Is there any question of your not needing me if
you have trouble with a poser like that?”
Dinah leaned forward and let her head fall.
“Eekweek, I adore you, and you’d never conceive how I value your advice.
Come with me, out of this place. You’ve lived here long enough.”
The mouse returned to its feet and nodded
curtly, nothing more. Eekweek and Dinah walked out of the house,
not paying the lady Gambolin any more mind than a crumb of graham cracker,
and they never went back.
Eekweek refused to be carried; given its way,
it might just as soon have carried Dinah out of that place. And so
she had to wait for the mouse all the way, and at night to stand by and
watch over it as it slept, but Dinah didn’t tire of watching her companion
breathe in and out, nor of traveling just ahead and looking back as it
wound its way through the bramble and underbrush, over a tall hill bedecked
with jumbled bushes and shrubs and on to a town on the open plain, where
on the next morning Dinah and Eekweek arrived at a one-story house, and
beheld an unfamiliar carriage standing by the curb.
“Halbert!” called Dinah from the front door.
“Are you in?”
There was a little bit of rustling inside,
and a moment later Halbert opened the door, bedecked in a modest but agreeable
purple suit, looking as cheery as ever a man could look. “Dinah!”
he exclaimed. “You’re not a minute too early, nor a minute too late!
Come in—I’ve got someone I want you to meet.”
Halbert introduced Dinah to his brand new
wife, who turned out to be none other than the daughter of Theresa, whom
Dinah knew from the action group. She was full of life and thrilled
to meet Dinah, and didn’t even squirm when Dinah introduced Eekweek to
the happy couple. The four of them could never remember afterwards
at what point they decided, without even the use of words, to become a
family. They just knew that it had happened like a snap of the fingers.
No one had had to breach the subject; it had opened to their hearts all
on its own, and would likely never close. Halbert, his wife, his
“sister” and her personal advisor—they lived under one roof and never questioned
life again. Dinah gave up her study of magic but never lost her curiosity
in it, and Halbert eventually took up the slack himself and began to look
into following the path his old man had laid for him all those years ago.
They all went to the action groups when Halbert’s mother-in-law was speaking
or organizing, and Dinah saw Raúl there from time to time, and always
told him that she hadn’t forgotten to consider returning, and that there
was still room for it in the future. She still occasionally studied
biology by night and sent her results to the people who could use them,
but by day she played jacks, and hummed merry tunes, and built sculptures
of strange beings out of Spam, which she set on the table as centerpieces
until Eekweek happened along with his rapacious teeth and tunneled right
through them.
THE END